unlimited

Today's been long. I can't believe it was today that I woke up late, saw how bright it was, and thought, "Oh, crap..." and had to take a cab to college. I can't believe it was today I wrestled through two exam papers, Chemistry and Mechanics. I can't believe it was today I watched Corpse Bride. I can't believe it was today I saw the rain pouring so melancholically outside the bus windows, their patter lost amidst the quiet rumble of the engines as it made the daily journey from Subang Jaya to my house. I can't believe it was today I broke the heart that broke mine.

Of course, because I woke up late, I had time for a leisurely breakfast. Normally, I wake up, shower, and get ready with, oh, 5 minutes to spare. If I've the energy then I have some biscuits, but hardly ever any bread or cereal. Today was different. Today was a journey. The first step was getting the jam. I opened the fridge, and was dazzled by the glorious array. There was strawberry, blackberry, marmalade, and also peanut butter, kaya, and butter. Ooooo. I felt aristocratic all of a sudden, with a multitude of choice anxiously awaiting the decision of my finicky yet discerning palate. (The best spread, though, still has to be this hazelnut-chocolate spread thing whose brand I don't remember. It's unbelievably smooth and creamy and sinfully delicious.)

Ultimately though, I went for the prosaic. Peanut butter and strawberry jam. Pretty good, but the bread was the staple white Gardenia kind. It hardly did the filling justice. I dared not try the fancy wheat germ more-than-bread loaf. I prefer my bread to NOT contain little wriggly disease carrying things, tank you very much. I don't think it was happy with that, seeing as how it glared at me from my table with its eyes of unidentifiable black blemishes that dotted its peculiarly textured surface.

...

Moving on. Corpse Bride was a delightful show, a romping, entertaining film of the best kind, in a mildly macabre way =). The animation was superb, stop-motion animation blows me away. I think it was better than Nightmare Before Christmas, too... I think there was a mite too many songs in that one. Here it flows superbly, like some kind of magic. Definitely takes magic to make the dead endearing, certainly =).



It's wonderfully funny and visually satisfying, but the story itself was what made it absolutely perfect, almost a fairy tale of our time but for its somewhat tragic ending. You don't quite know who to root for, you want all three to end up happy, but it cannot be... The ending is poignant, and while the best possible way it could have happened, bittersweet still. How true is it? It's true enough =).

Another minor point of interest was how the living, once they got over their fear and prejudice, found the dead pleasant enough, especially since they knew many of them. Seeing a skeletal grandpa hug his grandson was priceless. It speaks of acceptance, understanding, getting along with different people (here, the vitality-challenged XD ). And also, for me it was like giving the finger to all those stupid horror movies. I mean, the dead can't all be evil =). Here be the jolly dead, hehe.

Memorable line: "Why go up there when people are dying to get down here?" Brilliant pun!

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And that's about it. I think I should have split this up... ah, never mind. Lazy. Oh, those words below? Don't bother much... Mandatory, unfathomable ramble follows. You have been warned.

*sigh* There's nothing quite like soul hurt. I've deep, gnawing ache that cannot be satisfied, and that tonight was only made worse, this time surely by my own hand. The madness is in the irony, and the irony is in the madness. Who hurts who, now? How did it wind up like this? Is it too late? Are apologies enough? Perhaps I was driven half-mad by unrequited love, or perhaps it was the sanity left telling me this is the way to move on. I don't know. I just didn't want to hurt any more, wanted her to be happy away from a friend who'd always long too much and need too much. I'm still learning, still trying to contain the paradox of being completely independent and completely in love. Being somebody who chooses to love out of an overflowing life, not one who needs to love to fill it up. I suspect I'm still a little needy, deep inside. If anything, I take away from unrequited love a deeper knowledge of how I love, and why, and who I am. I only wish I had the chance to be better now.