unlimited

Let's see, my forms are still missing and the teacher who wrote them seems to be ignoring my messages by and large. I'd take no for an answer, but not replying is just mean. The other teacher who's doing my Teacher Eval I form stood me up last Wednesday, and now he's saying he'll be back only on the 27th. I can't possible postmark my forms in time, it's the holiday season! And he's proven to be untrustworthy - I can't be sure he'll be around to give me the form. Groan. All I have now is my Brown application, and the other two I've sent in. I suppose all is not lost, especially since one was my safety, of sorts.

Still, the atmosphere is right for destabilising stress and frustration. I feel kinda betrayed for trusting these teachers, but I shouldn't have lost the forms, and I should have given them earlier in case of trouble like this.

But I found a peace a bit earlier, while listening to an instrumental version of A Whole New World. You know, from Aladdin. It's one of my favourites. As I let it flow around and through me, I felt free. I felt endless possibility. I felt that, if I could feel this, now, at this moment, then all is not lost. That we have capacity for wonder, and joy, makes life a lot more bearable.

Through all my adversity, this is ever my prayer: that having being hurt, I learn not to hurt others, to be kind, be gentle, be worthy of trust, be forgiving and patient. I don't want to end up bitter, though I feel that would be my natural response. I want to rise up with the steam, not suffocate in hot air. I have a small peace in my heart now; I pray that one day it will be the symphony of my life. So help me God.

ps. Also, thanks be to everyone who's had a kind word for me. It's helped more than you can imagine.