unlimited

I just got back from cycling*. I've cycled quite a bit in recent days. I haven't done so as regularly as I used to**, because I've been busy and lazy, but going out, I remember why I used to.

Unlike jogging, cycling is so much more efficient, plus you can keep moving if you're tired. And the scenery changes faster, hehe. Watching the world pass by, seeing people going about their lives, it's easy to forget ones problems. There's nothing to do but keep moving, avoid dying, and letting the mind wander. It's sort of like meditation, really. You never stop to really consider anything, except to touch it lightly. Thoughts come, simple and pure. That's a nice house. Those kids look their having fun. Oo, another nice house. More kids. Ecch, an ugly house. And so on.

Today, though, the sky looked different to me. I thought about it a lot. It looked higher. Wider. Bigger. It had implications of vastness beyond comprehension. Maybe the trees were a bit bare, or something.

Or maybe it's because even now, my future is changing. All sorts of things happening, and I'm wondering what road I'll end up taking. I assume the road to college, but you never know, right? Especially with these missing forms and all. But as the sky was wide, so the earth is***. The possibilities are endless, there's a whole world out there. So what if many of those possibilities probably don't involve getting rich? Life, the sages tell us, is about the journey.

****

And after a contemplative ride, the trappings of wealth don't seem so important. I've always thought, I can be happy even if I'm not rich. There's one thing necessary, and that thing is love. In all my hoped-for scenarios where I don't end up rich, I always end up with someone I love and am loved by, deeply.

I repeat, is it not enough that we have such capacity for love and happiness, despite how much the world gives us? Happiness isn't to be found in a degree, but in the people you know. Yes, you'd probably meet some fantastic people at a place like Princeton, elite oboeists with 1337 math skills and 35 hours of community service a week who also hold the national debate trophy and, incidentally built a nuclear accelerator last summer. But all around are people, each as complex as the next. The love (not just the romantic kind) we give and receive, will mean more to us than a degree on the wall.

The little fire of mine spirit, I was going to seal away in a glass globe, that it might burn forever untouched by cruel winds. But as it burned inside it flickered, dimmer and dimmer, to the point of exhaustion. That moment I realised that try as we may to shield our spirit from pain, if we take away the troubling breezes, then we take away its fuel. Instead of preserving, we diminish ourselves. What makes us human, makes us strong, is our courage in facing tomorrow, not hiding away from hurt.

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* - well, actually not, I backtimed this post 3.5 hours, but for effect, let's just assume it's 7pm
** - which was once a month. But still regular.
*** - I mean, obviously except for the bits with sea.
**** - I don't mean the swear word. This means like, pause, dude.