unlimited

College kicks off again tomorrow. At last. The holidays have been kinda mind numbing. I never know what to do with my time. I had to go out, get some fresh, rain-cleaned air just now to clear my mind. It's been put aside for much of the two weeks and strange fuzzy green things are starting to grow in septic corners.

I was playing the piano again today (yes, I CAN play, though I use a very loose definition of "play" =) ), and I realised how much I enjoyed it. I took lessons for a brief while, I think from early Form 4 to mid last year (reason for quitting: SPM, plus after one year, while my theory had reached grade 5, my practical was still grade 1. Go figure). Mind is a blurrie thing. Anyway, I might not have the prowess of all you grade 8 people out there reading this, but still, I do enjoy it... the guitar doesn't seem to compare to it. The piano sounds more, well, more melancholy, more grand. The guitar is like an excited squeaky teenager high on something (like helium, maybe), while the piano more resembles a wise white-bearded old man with a deep, resonating voice and twinkly intelligent eyes. Maybe anthropomorphizing instruments is a pretty irrelevant thing to do, but humour me, alright? Playing the piano let's my consciousness just drift along on the music, floating without a care in the world. It's magical, it is. Not just listening, but actually causing it, translating notes to music and stuff.

I do wish I didn't give it up, but there's no time for regrets. I want to go on learning (life is too short, after all), but there are already so many things clamouring for my attention. Maybe in the not too distant future... Hm. It'll take a lot of effort, and I'm at a point where I don't know how much I can give. Low energy state, sort of thing. SAT, class tests, stuff... all taking a chunk out of me. And I've got nowhere to lay my head. *sigh* Wish I had a true friend I could talk honestly to... Some people do come close, but none I can be utterly honest to, none who will give kind, wise knowing counsel. I expect too much, perhaps. Can anyone actually live up to all the standards I have, and still be my friend? But I hope for such a one, eventually. Someday.